the first year is finished
I have no idea what I said. I spoke for about five minutes about the students and their achievements and that I would miss them. I think I did at least. I might have said that it was hot in the chapel and that I thought the piano recital happening in the middle of the nursery graduation was unnecessary.
I prepared remarks but current events made them inappropriate. No, I did not talk about the passing of President Reagan � although the nursery graduated in white cowboy hats in tribute to the President.
We give awards at our school for academics, behavior, and attendance to students in grades one through fifth and there are special citizenship and achievement awards that go to different students in the school. The other day at recess I was disclosing to the Principal who had earned what awards and who I was voting for in the awards that I vote for.
The first grade teacher jumped my shit, hard about it. She went on and on about how I was a terrible teacher and how I had made up their grades, how they had not earned their awards in front of them. In front of them. I looked her in the eye and said, �Mrs. Bitch-Monkey you are certainly entitled to your opinion.� She lined up her class and took them inside and after she did I took my class inside as well so no one would see the pain on their faces or see them cry, which two of them did. Bitch. The Principal grabbed my arm as I walked in and said, �You handled that well, I will deal with her.�
He did not. He had the Nursery Director (our assistant principal) deal with her, which she did the next morning before the kids showed up. I have never had such a resounding endorsement in my life or heard someone dressed down as effectively in my teaching career. I could repeat for you what she said but basically she was reminded that she had no right to yell at someone else and if she did in front of their students was wrong on so many levels (elaborated for her), that she was wrong on the facts about my teaching and the students achievement and a great many other things. The kids were not in the building so although no yelling was involved everyone heard what she had to say. By the end of her speech I sounded like Jesus in close-toes shoes.
The background on the first grade teachers is this: her husband abuses her and she is not a very good teacher. She is personally and professionally unsuccessful and unhappy. I know we should feel bad for people in her situation but one person�s hard life is not a license to abuse other people. She is nasty to me, to her coworkers and to her students because she can be, because people let her, because people say, �oh, she has a hard life.� Making excuses for the woman does not make anyone�s life any easier.
Today my speech reflected her criticisms of my students because at the time it happened I had to remind them to respect their elders, even when they had hurt our feelings. I told the audience that I did not need to wish my graduates luck � hard working, ambitious people with faith in God would build their own success in life and would not need to leave their dreams to chance. They had earned their achievements and everyone who cared about them was proud of them today and would be proud of what they would become.
So, my first year of teaching is over. My first class is graduated. We shall see what becomes of them in the wide world. I would have preferred to end it on a note of celebration for them and not have to reassure them once more that they were good people who did good work. That there were ugly people in the world who did ugly things to us and it is a part of life. It should not be a part of school or work, and honestly, as rarely as teachers are supported or praised in meaningful ways you would think as a profession we would stand together.
I will write it out here because once I write it out I come clean. Writing in this diary is my confessional. I can come here, deposit all the hurt, humor, pain, pleasure, feats, and failures of my life, and then forget about them. I should see a therapist but I have already sent Andrew my payment for the year to keep my spot.
This year was good, next year will be better.
