some lights seem eternal
in this springtime of hope

Blue (Da Ba Dee)

May 23, 2004
I am watching one of my friends self-destruct. I do not know what to make of this situation but I know I am not handling it correctly. When they instant message I look down my nose at their comments with a sardonic glare that expresses as much contempt as possible. I ignore their telephone calls. I do not open their emails for days at a time.

I pray for them but I do not want anything to do with them, not anymore. We were almost close friends but there are two types of people in the world � those who seek to control their lives and those who let their lives control them.

I am tired of hearing from people that I do not understand how hard their lives are. Everyone�s life is hard, I honestly do not know or know of anyone who has an easy life. It is all in how you handle the situations you are in.

The friend in question has decided the best way to deal with the problems life has presented them by walking away from God. Have we learned nothing in the nearly six thousand years humans have walked the earth? Adam and Eve tried to run from God and he found them. Johan found himself in the belly of a fish and then on the beach. None of them trusted God, but like the good father he is, he did not let them slip from his grasp.

Disregarding God is not an effective way of dealing with the problems in your life. We can evade God but his laws are written on our hearts. Sadly, we disregard that law even though it is law born of love and not some maniacal desire to keep us down. You can walk away from God but he is always with you and so are his desires for your life. You cannot fill the hole in your life with anything but God. When you push God out something else inevitably takes his place, it is never a good thing.

Job found himself in a terrible spot and trusted God to see him through to the end. No has had it as hard as Job did. He was afflicted in every way possible from his family being destroyed to loosing his fortune to being ravaged by disease and loosing his friends. He never let go of God. He never stopped trusting. His life was so much harder than ours could ever be. He never stopped trusting. He never gave up hope.

My advice for today is that life will start to look better when you stop looking back and start looking forward. Go with God, it can only get better from there. Life will never be perfect, life will never be charmed, but it will be unbearable without God. We all have a cross to bear, a burden that is heavy and beyond our ability to deal with it alone. I do not understand pushing the helping hand away.

My ennui towards this friend annoys me. I should care more. I should be pressing myself to act, to intervene and try and least fix this. I have no wonton desire to put myself out. Not anymore.

***

No, Princess, it is not you and it is not the first and best. Truly, Princess, you trend towards disregarding my advice and brushing away my help. The first and best is too well grounded to self-destruct, he has already tried, and I did not let him when we were little. We are big now and unfortunately still immature but we still have an eye on each other.

11:22 PM :: 4 comments so far ::
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