children are the future, today belongs to me
Before I left the University my academic advisor told me, as a joke, to use my powers for good. For the first time since I�ve had powers I�ve done that. It wasn�t my intention to exert any influence on my siblings or cousins but I�ve inspired them to visit our grandmother.
I may be on the roster of the Church and recognized by the Internal Revenue Service as a member of the Synod and the clergy but Meredith is the moral authority of the family.
You�ve heard of the Americorps, I�ve been drafted into the militant wing of the Americorps � the Mere-i-corps. This Sunday, for a limited time engagement, I will be helping my cousin Meredith clean Grandma�s house.
Her mother and my mother find it absurd that someone who hasn�t seen Grandma in a decade is forming a chain gang to perform manual labor that we can�t be called up on to do for our own mothers in our own homes.
When pressed by my mother and hers (who is my Godmother) as to why I acquiesced to do such a thing I replied that Meredith�s powers of persuasion are remarkable. I added the caveat that her ability to wield guilt as a weapon gives me hope that my cousin Meredith will return to the Catholic Church because surely the scripture teaches us that �raise up a child in the way that it should go and it will not depart from it.� We can run but we can�t hide. She�s coming home but she�s taking the long road. You may get side tracked on this road, I�m in the chain gang that you�re more than likely to pass.
You have to go to college a damn long time before you can run a hospital but that doesn't explain why so many people who run them are mongoloids. Which is a terrible thing to say, I have a friends with Downs Syndrome who would at least try to do a good job running a hospital. I don't think these bastards could give a shit with an enema. When I called the hospital today to raise hell about how Grandma is being treated I mentioned this and that and let the word, "retarded" slip out and the person told me that it wasn't kind to use that word and I said, "Listen, I'm a special education teacher - I know retarded when I see it. Change her sheets, put her in clean clothes" I hope for their sake they have because even I don't roll with Meredith. Meredith is going tomorrow and like all women in my family she doesn't just roll, she rolls hard.
On a lighter note today I have to thank whoever told me to remember to hold back a girl�s hair when they get sick because a Kindergartener threw up today in the office and some got on me, I was helping her not get it all over the place. Now I have whatever bacteria which has ravaged Kindergarten this week.
I had better not get what that kid had.