give it to me, baby
So, the deli is packed because just like at Mom�s work one man�s lack of planning is another woman�s crisis. Parking was a bear and then just cramming yourself into the deli was an adventure. I wadded through the mass of people and got a number so I could be served in my turn.
Well, I had number fifty-five and they were on number fifty-one, I thought to myself, �What is the Army of Oldness doing there if they are only four people in front of me in line?� Well, it was quickly my turn and I barely had time to fill out my order card when they called my number.
Well, when I bellied up to the bar this old woman, who had decided that she was the leader of the AARP of Saint Matthews, Kentucky challenged my place in line, she had been there before me. I said, �Oh, did you take a number,� and she said, �That doesn�t matter, I was here before you.� The owner of the deli � who was making sandwiches at the same time said � Ma�am, you have to take a number, it�s the only way we know what order to serve people in.� The Old Lady said, �NO, I WAS HERE FIRST! HE HAS TO WAIT HIS TURN.� To which all the old, unnumbered people agreed. As long as these geezers had been walking the Earth you�d think they�d have figured it out. In Jersey we�d have stabbed you for such stupidity. Darwin, where are you when we need you?
Then I noticed it, the Howard Dean button. She was a Dean Supporter, which explains her unjustified anger and inability to understand, �like it or not, the world has rules.� I thought to myself as the delightfully rude boy made my sandwiches, �Why are Democrats so angry? Is being wrong THAT painful?�
Well, finally the old lady got a number but decided that she was just going to get other groceries because it was ridiculous that the world should work in the way it always has. As �luck� would have it, she was in line behind me and she kept �accidentally� hitting me with her cart as we progressed toward check out. Every time she did this I�d turn around and glare at her to nonverbally tell her, �Bitch, Please! I know what you�re up to and it�s not clever.� The third time was the last time. I wheeled around and said, �Bitch, Please! [I do say that in real life] How old are you that you are ramming a grocery basket into someone half a century younger than you? Is this how they treated people when Woodrow Wilson walked the Earth? Happy Buddha [I try to blaspheme MY god] what is your problem?�
Do people realize that the problem with society is everyone in it? It�s all of us. Me, you, the man at the gas station selling lottery tickets. All of us! Except Ezi.
I keyed her car in the parking lot. I don�t hit women but I will vandalize your car.
If elected we can take comfort in the fact that Howard Dean is too angry for sex and will not be coupling with anyone half his age and probably smart enough not to lie about it if caught, and in a court of law (which Dear Helderheid is the real issue that people have with Clinton � he was in court, under oath).
I�m at my parent�s house for the next couple days and their dog hates me. Read about Buddy�s tail and why their dog should and does hate me.
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