Natalie Portman? What are you doing in Romania?

Well, I went and saw, �Cold Mountain� and I learned something very important:

Most deadly accidents do indeed happen within five miles of your home. Be careful who you show your who-ha too.

I recommend you go see it, especially if you�re not into the whole �reading books,� thing. Natalie Portman does more acting in fifteen minutes in Cold Mountain than she does in three Star Wars movie and George Lucas hasn�t shat out the most recent one. I heart Natalie Portman; I heart her hard. I�m stalking her and so far I�m a failure at it. I won't give away any more of the movie, you go part with your money.

Today at the Bookstore I noticed that the Erotica isn�t just near the Self Help books, they�re also by the bathroom. Coincidence? Probably not. Conundrum? Stop using big words to sound impressive, damn it.

I saw Lord of the Rings Trivia today too, which leads to the statement and the faith that even I could get laid with people like that running around. Hold tight to that virginity; hold onto it with everything you�ve got folks. Nothing keeps those panties on secure like the Lord of the Rings, Star Trek and Wars and Civil War reenactments.

I�m at my parent�s house for the next couple days and their dog hates me. Read about Buddy�s tail and why their dog should and does hate me.

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